Let's see, let's see...
This is the third time I attempt to have a blog, my inability to remember passwords and finding appealing things to write about has made me believe I cannot be a sucesful user of any social media where feelings have to be shared and exposed. However just like the title of my blog presents, I will write about my encounters next to the fast failure lane of life. I finished studying English Literature in the best University of the country (an underdeveloped country so it is actually not a great deal) and it wasn't until my final year (wich was a bonus track, due to my incapacity to finish things on time) that I came to the realization that I loved writing but mostly about, as one of my canadian writer friends say, the loser culture. I enjoy most of all to write on that character bound to fail accepting his state by pouring his deepest feelings based on the misconceptions of the actual world in the own life of the protagonist.
The main reason why I like failure is because I'm also one of my characters and I see myself in every book I read which has a lonely, self-proclaimed loser and ridiculously unlucky being. And this is given due to the following reasons:
1. All my friends are working while I continue to scratch my belly and actually not doing sthg. to change my state.
2. Studying something which allow you to: a. Become a teacher in higschool (I prefer a slow death) or b. becoming unemployed (oh wait...).
3. Because everyone who already ended with their courses is taking another challenge in their life, while mine continues to survive in the cell of my only dissapointment.
4. Because I really really really want to get in a program in Chicago to study Creative Writing, just like the genius Lena Dunham, and to actually become an academic and a writer whether it is here and in Spanish, or anywhere in English.
I truly believe this sort of things is appealing to no one, however I needed to waste my time instead of completing my stupid statement of purpose to apply for the program, which I believe I am not going to get in. I wan't to read this in the future and laugh about it, but now at my 23 years working as a flower assistant still living with my parents and reading to avoid the pain of being dull, I am not satisfied with my life, I wish someone could read my creations but like Bukowki once said (not in his exact words) by your twenties you have to be a genius because at the age of 50 you are no one but an old fool. I'm in my twenties and I'm no genius, and maybe I will never get published, but if someone could tell me what is going to happen with my future it would be great. This is a journal based on the uncertainty on the future and trying to fight the state of passiveness. I wanna live in carpe diem but the only thing I have got from this is living in misery diem. Because I can't wait any longer to get published and actually be liked by someone (not only by my bf, which luckily is the only good thing goin on right now).
Right now 32 million people work in the Intenet, how could I not have at least one person, beyond my mom, who would actually read and like my stories? Everyone likes to see another go down, why not me?
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