Sunday, February 17, 2013

Jobs blow

Ok... because this blog is only for me due to the uncreative and tedious profile, I haven't written anything for a long long time (not so long but long in internet years, I guess).

So far it has been a sort-of-good-summer, except for the panic attacks and the lil' sleep, I have been able to leave the city with some friends and enjoy Feb. with my boyfriend doing activities... act.. activities... agh it's sounds lame but ACTUALLY it hasn't been lame. For example, today we sold our clothes in a fair and I managed to win enough money to pay for gas and go to the movies (only on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays because it is more cheap). And you (myself) may ask: Why am I in need to "make a buck"? Because, obviously, I am a complete and utter unemployed.

Since I graduated I have only had one job: being a waitress which is a SUPER FUN-TASTIC JOB. You only work on weekends (I mean who needs to go out when you can work?), I have to work 18 hours straight (more money of course) , and drunk old guys love to hit on me... YEIY! Beacuse this job requires so much and has become a challenge for me, I decided it was time to look for grown-up job for a student of English Literature... easy.

My anxiety started some time ago when I saw how my same age friends have been able to find jobs as if they were apples in an apple tree. They all managed to work during January with the possibility of continuing doing things related to their area. If this wasn't enough, my great great awesome boyfriend got called to work for a week correcting some tests. I was expecting to have an apple falling into my head too, but it seems the tree avoids me and only throw fruits into other people's heads. All I want to do is write and win some money on the way but I made the biggest of all when searching: I looked it up on the internet.

And this happened.

I am underqualified for the following jobs:

- Journalism: I don't have a degree.
- Translations: I don't have and M.A.
- Teacher: I don't have the title to be one.
- Secretary: I don't know how to use Office.
- And last but not least, Promoter: I'm not hot.

So, yeah I still don't have a job and looking for jobs suck.

p.s. Sorry future Consuelo, Nobel Prize Winner, for the grammatical errors and over use of ... and ,. You will, eventually, become a good writer.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Smarty Pants Guy

Smarty Pants Guy during his four years studying next to me, loved ass kissing while I liked to get drunk and go to class with a massive hangover, and of course do all those extra-curricular activities which had no credits whatsoever, the social ones (if it was not clear enoguh). Smarty Pants Guy also enjoyed seeing the ranking of the people in the courses and generation, to see whether he was still the best or not. What he endulged on the most, however, was laughing at teacher's jokes and reading everything, from the commandatory to the additional bibliography in order to answer every effing question made by a teacher. Smarty Pants Guy did anything he needed to do to lick everyone boots and be seen as a member of the academic world, I didn't realize the importance of it until some weeks ago after submitting my thesis, I bumped into him walking down the stairs.

"Hi" I said, "what are you doing here?",

"Well, I was correcting the theses of the class"

"Wait" I said in kind of a shock, "Why are YOU correcting them?" (because he was part of my seminar class, just like all the students"

"Oh, I'm just correcting the formats, the Egg Shaped Ass (not acutally the name of my teacher), asked me to help him considering I'll be his TA next year·

"Ok..." I mumbled "Good luck then, asshole."

Why did I decide to write on Smarty Pants Guy, you (actually me the only that reads this) will be asking. Because Smarty Pants Guy applied for an scholarship and didn't get it, but still is able to do things due to all the ass-kissing I never did. All of my friends which graduated are doing things for their future, projects and accomplishing goals... Why am I stuck? This carpe misery is killing me... Why did'nt I take control of my life earlier?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Recommendation of the Day

Best video ever, Tales of Mere Existence is my bible.

To clear things up...

Let's see, let's see...

This is the third time I attempt to have a blog, my inability to remember passwords and finding appealing things to write about has made me believe I cannot be a sucesful user of any social media where feelings have to be shared and exposed. However just like the title of my blog presents, I will write about my encounters next to the fast failure lane of life. I finished studying English Literature in the best University of the country (an underdeveloped country so it is actually not a great deal)  and it wasn't until my final year (wich was a bonus track, due to my incapacity to finish things on time) that I came to the realization that I loved writing but mostly about, as one of my canadian writer friends say, the loser culture. I enjoy most of all to write on that character bound to fail accepting his state by pouring his deepest feelings based on the misconceptions of the actual world in the own life of the protagonist.

The main reason why I like failure is because I'm also one of my characters and I see myself in every book I read which has a lonely, self-proclaimed loser and ridiculously unlucky being. And this is given due to the following reasons:

1. All my friends are working while I continue to scratch my belly and actually not doing sthg. to change my state.
2. Studying something which allow you to: a. Become a teacher in higschool (I prefer a slow death) or b. becoming unemployed (oh wait...).
3. Because everyone who already ended with their courses is taking another challenge in their life, while mine continues to survive in the cell of my only dissapointment.
4. Because I really really really want to get in a program in Chicago to study Creative Writing, just like the genius Lena Dunham, and to actually become an academic and a writer whether it is here and in Spanish, or anywhere in English. 

I truly believe this sort of things is appealing to no one, however I needed to waste my time instead of completing my stupid statement of purpose to apply for the program, which I believe I am not going to get in. I wan't to read this in the future and laugh about it, but now at my 23 years working as a flower assistant still living with my parents and reading to avoid the pain of being dull, I am not satisfied with my life, I wish someone could read my creations but like Bukowki once said (not in his exact words) by your twenties you have to be a genius because at the age of 50 you are no one but an old fool. I'm in my twenties and I'm no genius, and maybe I will never get published, but if someone could tell me what is going to happen with my future it would be great. This is a journal based on the uncertainty on the future and trying to fight the state of passiveness. I wanna live in carpe diem but the only thing I have got from this is living in misery diem. Because I can't wait any longer to get published and actually be liked by someone (not only by my bf, which luckily is the only good thing goin on right now). 

Right now 32 million people work in the Intenet, how could I not have at least one person, beyond my mom, who would actually read and like my stories? Everyone likes to see another go down, why not me?